Be honest how many times have you posted something online and then checked your phone 10 times in the first hour to see how many likes you got? Or maybe you said “yes” to something you didn’t even want to do just because you didn’t want people to think differently of you. Yeah… we’ve all been there.
Here’s the truth: the need to be liked is one of the biggest silent pressures teens face today. It’s exhausting, it’s overwhelming, and most of the time, it makes you feel like you’re living for everyone else instead of yourself.
But here’s the good news you don’t have to live in that cycle. You’re allowed to break free.
Why We All Want to Be Liked
It’s not your fault that you care about what people think. Humans are wired to seek approval because, way back in history, belonging to a group meant survival. If people didn’t like you, you could literally get left behind.
Fast forward to today: no one’s leaving you in the wild without Wi-Fi, but your brain still thinks likes, compliments, and approval = safety. That’s why rejection stings so much.
The Dark Side of Chasing Approval
When the need to be liked takes over, life can start to feel like a performance:
- You hide your real opinions just to fit in.
- You agree to things that drain you.
- You measure your worth by numbers followers, likes, comments.
- You feel anxious when you think someone might not like you.
And the worst part? Even when people do approve of you, it’s never enough. There’s always the next post, the next outfit, the next thing to say “yes” to.
Signs You’re Stuck in Approval Mode
Let’s do a quick check. You might be chasing approval if:
- You apologize too much, even when you didn’t do anything wrong.
- You can’t say no without feeling guilty.
- You replay conversations in your head, worrying if you sounded “weird.”
- You post things online and then delete them if they don’t get enough likes.
If you nodded to more than one of these, it might be time to break the cycle.
How to Stop Chasing Approval (Step by Step)
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Notice the Pattern
The first step is awareness. Next time you feel that urge to say yes or edit yourself, pause and ask: Am I doing this because I want to, or because I want them to like me? -
Practice Saying No
Saying no doesn’t make you mean it makes you honest. Start small. Turn down something minor, like hanging out when you really just need rest. See how freeing it feels. -
Redefine “Likeable”
People will always have opinions. But the only approval you actually need is your own. What would it feel like to live in a way that you respect even if not everyone else agrees? -
Limit Social Media Traps
If likes make you anxious, turn off notifications or take a short detox. Post because you like what you’re sharing, not for external validation. -
Surround Yourself with the Right People
If you’re only liked when you’re pretending, are you really liked at all? Real friends love you for who you are, not the version of you that bends to please them.
A Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
Here’s a perspective that might blow your mind: not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. Think about it: do you like everyone? Nope. And yet they survive, right?
Imagine how freeing it would be if you stopped chasing 100% approval and focused instead on being authentic. Some people won’t vibe with you, but the ones who do? They’ll be your people.
Final Note: You’re Already Enough
You don’t need to post the perfect selfie, wear the trendiest outfit, or say “yes” to every plan just to prove you’re worth liking. You already are enough.
So the next time you feel that itch for approval, take a deep breath and remind yourself: I don’t need their like to be likable.
✨ Your turn: Have you ever caught yourself doing something just to be liked? What would change in your life if you stopped?
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